Honestly, I’m not sure what to do?

Highlighting how Scuttlebutt staff gets derailed during work hours, this Reddit post seeks our relationship advice:

My boyfriend (41M) has an expensive hobby so we have to live very frugally and it’s starting to bother me (39F), I’m not sure what to do.

My boyfriend (41M) and I (39F) have been together for about a year. He’s a caring and considerate partner. However, he lives very frugally to be able to afford his expensive hobby.

He loves to sail and between the costs of financing his boat (which he purchased before we met), fuel costs, insurance, marina fees, maintenance, etc. — I would estimate that it creates around 3K+ each month in expenses.

This comes out of his disposable income so he’s not asking me to pay for any of it but it’s not a interest I share (I don’t particularly like being on boats). I think sailing really gives him a lot of peace and a sense of pride.

We mostly split expenses, and I don’t live a particularly expensive lifestyle — I don’t have a huge desire to visit fancy restaurants and am happy taking a weekend road trip instead of some big international trip, and so for a while it didn’t bother me that he spends so much on his hobby. He also is very conscientious about saving so he saves a large portion of his income as well, and I support him wanting to build his savings.

However, we don’t currently live together, partially because of how frugally he chooses to live in order to be able to afford this hobby. He has a tiny condo and no car, though I have a car. He eats very simply. If we were to move in together, we’d need to move into a smaller apartment than I’d prefer (we live in an expensive city) or move somewhere else or he’d need to save less. – Read on